


@Team-Stark

by aatticsaltt



Series: Peter Stark's Twitter Adventures [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bad Jokes, Civil War Fix-It, Civil War Team Iron Man, Gen, Genius Peter Parker, Minor Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter Stark - Freeform, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Sassy Peter, Social Media, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Twitter, eventually, not all team cap friendly but no extreme bashing, the rogues wanna talk to their favorite teenager so bad but peters not having it, this is probably gonna be a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23679736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aatticsaltt/pseuds/aatticsaltt
Summary: Peter Stark@iamspidersoni sweaarrrr if steve gets unblocked from my account one more time imma lose my shit|Steve Rogers@CaptainAmerica@iamspidersonI’ll assume this isn’t a good time, then.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Peter Stark's Twitter Adventures [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1567891
Comments: 174
Kudos: 1533
Collections: Social Media Fics, Spider-Man Public Identity Reveal, The Best Irondad/Spiderson Fics, The Best MCU Social Media Fics, The Best Peter Parker Whump Fics, The Best of the Best MCU Fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> guess who's back (back), back again ;)
> 
> its me. u guessed right. congratulations.
> 
> i'm here with the MUCH requested civil war fix-it. bear with guys. its gonna be a bumpy ride.
> 
> fair warning: NOT ALL OF THIS WILL BE TEAM CAP FRIENDLY!!! but it will resolve by the end. i promise
> 
> enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_  
>  _@JJJathome @BunnyJoy @iamironman @smarteric @aintmola_ pls dont tempt him. he will do it
> 
>  **Tony Stark** _@iamironman_  
>  _@I-Am-Spider-Man @JJJathome @BunnyJoy @smarteric @aintmola_ He’s right, I’m tempted.

**Peter Stark** [verified]

_@I-Am-Spider-Man_

i lifted thor’s hammer once

Location: NY, USA

Joined: September 2014

 **16** Following **15.1M** Followers

**Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_

question: would u guys ever be interested in watching a livestream from my suit? like, i go on patrol and you guys can see through the lenses as i swing around

 **3.2M** likes **9.2M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> u guys response time never ceases to amaze me. like are yall ok?? do you have lives?? should i be worried?
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> i appreciate it smsm but u good????
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> bc its been less than like, four minutes and were already at a couple hundred thousand likes, pls calm down
> 
> **Spidey-Watch** _@spidey_watch_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ We’re your biggest fans! Gotta support our favorite hero.
> 
> **Spidey-Watch** _@spidey_watch_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ Plus, you’re super amazing, and these livestreams will prove you’re doing the right thing and will send JJJ to the curb!
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@spidey_watch_ ;-; catch me CRYING IN THE CLUB ilysm you are so sweet
> 
> **Spidey-Watch** _@spidey_watch_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ Ily2!! In all seriousness tho, if you did a livestream, I would cry with happiness.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@spidey_watch_ noted ;)
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@spidey_watch_ pls dont actually cry tho bc then i will cry and we know from previous videos its not pretty
> 
> |
> 
> **J. Jonah Jameson** _@JJJathome_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ Yes! Contrary to some of the IGNORANT REPLIES to this tweet, the people of New York need video proof of how you swing around, plaguing this fine city with your lawlessness!
> 
> **Bunny** _@BunnyJoy_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @JJJathome_ dude… u need help. this is tony starks son, do u srsly want to get on the bad side of IRON MAN???
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamironman_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @JJJathome @BunnyJoy_ Tea.
> 
> **J. Jonah Jameson** _@JJJathome_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @BunnyJoy @iamironman_ Sir, have I not always been tough but FAIR to you? I am only trying to give New York the truth, and the truth is your son’s supposed “hero-ing” is a MENACE to SOCIETY.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamironman_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @JJJathome @BunnyJoy_ In the effort of keeping this P-13: I don’t give a damn if you’d gotten on your knees and sucked like the finest whore. Spider-Man is my SON, and you should be very grateful he’s merciful because I wouldn’t hesitate to ruin your life.
> 
> **Bunny** _@BunnyJoy_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @JJJathome @iamironman_ GO OFF PAPA STARK!! YAAS KING
> 
> **Eric** _@smarteric_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @JJJathome @BunnyJoy @iamironman_ i dont think tony stark knows what pg-13 is
> 
> **Lyric** _@aintmola_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @JJJathome @BunnyJoy @iamironman @smarteric_ i don’t think people with more than half a shared brain cell would call themselves “Smart Eric”
> 
> **Bunny** _@BunnyJoy_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @JJJathome @iamironman @smarteric @aintmola_ what is this, the roast thread???? calm down and appreciate the protective iron dad!!
> 
> **Lyric** _@aintmola_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @JJJathome @BunnyJoy @iamironman @smarteric_ it is super good tho
> 
> **Bunny** _@BunnyJoy_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @JJJathome @iamironman @smarteric @aintmola_ right???!?!? honestly tony should just change his handle to iamirondad
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@JJJathome @BunnyJoy @iamironman @smarteric @aintmola_ pls dont tempt him. he will do it
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamironman_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @JJJathome @BunnyJoy @smarteric @aintmola_ He’s right, I’m tempted.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@JJJathome @BunnyJoy @iamironman @smarteric @aintmola_ nooo then we wont match!!!!
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamironman_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @JJJathome @BunnyJoy @smarteric @aintmola_ I-Am-Spider-Son?
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@JJJathome @BunnyJoy @iamironman @smarteric @aintmola_ i cant just keep changing my handle i have a brand to maintain
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamironman_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @JJJathome @BunnyJoy @smarteric @aintmola_ Don’t be such a killjoy, Peter Pan.
> 
> |
> 
> **Willow** _@willowswire_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ i dont think u understand how desperately i need to be able to have a livestream of spidey events
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@willowswire_ tbh i feel like ur rly overestimating how cool i am. a lot of patrol is just sittin on rooftops eating churros
> 
> **Willow** _@willowswire_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ a mood tho???? wow. iconic.
> 
> **Hawk of the Eye** _@iam_the_avengers_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @willowswire_ i too want to be sitting on rooftops and eating churros
> 
> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@starkheir_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ i’d literally pay you for a livestream
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@starkheir_ i rly dont need the money LMAO. consider maybe instead donating to a charity? OH I COULD TOTALLY RUN THE LIVESTREAM FOR CHARITY OMG YEAH THANKS FOR THE IDEA
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@starkheir_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ you’re welcome :)
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@starkheir_ also no hate but like, its so weird that ur name is also peter stark i feel like im talking to a clone. which is like the coolest thing ever
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamironman_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @starkheir_ Only you would even think about that.
> 
> |
> 
> **Josh** _@xpjosh_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ PLEASE do a livestream. i wanna see all ur tech up close.
> 
> **Blake** _@aquaticonde_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @xpjosh_ dude u cant just say shit like that
> 
> **Josh** _@xpjosh_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @aquaticonde_ wdym?? i do wanna see it!
> 
> **Blake** _@aquaticonde_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @xpjosh_ i mean, yah, so do i, but stark tech like that is super secretive. can u imagine a bunch of people havin the stuff spidey uses for his webs???
> 
> **Josh** _@xpjosh_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @aquaticonde_ woah… dude ur so right
> 
> **Blake** _@aquaticonde_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @xpjosh_ ofc i am
> 
> **virtuous** _@virtusoli_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @xpjosh @aquaticonde_ it’s like watching two chads try to share the same brain cell at one time
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@xpjosh @aquaticonde @virtusoli_ i say this out of love and concern for every person: P L E A S E do not try & replicate my webshooters!!! u do not have spidey senses!! u will fall!!! and hurt urself!!!! pls exercise caution!!!
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @xpjosh @aquaticonde @virtusoli_ Considering what mess I just drug you and your father out of in the workshop, this is hilarious.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@xpjosh @aquaticonde @virtusoli @WarMachine_ zip it.
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @xpjosh @aquaticonde @virtusoli_ Oh, so we’re sassy today. Interesting... How are your eyebrows doing?
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@xpjosh @aquaticonde @virtusoli @WarMachine_ …only mildly singed
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @xpjosh @aquaticonde @virtusoli_ Uh-huh. That’s what I thought.
> 
> **virtuous** _@virtusoli_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @xpjosh @aquaticonde @WarMachine_ hold on we’re just gonna ignore the fact peter said “spidey senses”?? thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard in my life

**Col. James Rhodes** [verified]

_@WarMachine_

Air Force Colonel. War Machine. American.

Location: New York City

Joined: July 2008

 **12** Following **8.8M** Followers

**Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_

For as much as I love _@iamironman_ and _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ , they are fully incapable of being left alone together, unsupervised, in a lab, because they will somehow find a way to blow themselves up.

 **2.1M** likes **1M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> Yes, they almost just blew themselves up. No, it’s not going to stop them from going straight back downstairs once another ridiculous idea pops into their heads. Yes, I’m very tired.
> 
> **Mama Rhodes** _@RRhodes_
> 
> _@WarMachine_ TELL MY BOYS TO BE MORE CAREFUL WITH THEMSELVES, OTHERWISE MAMA WILL HAVE TO MAKE A VISIT.
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@RRhodes_ Mama, you left the caps-lock on again.
> 
> **Mama Rhodes** _@RRhodes_
> 
> _@WarMachine_ I DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT STOP.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamironman_
> 
> _@WarMachine @RRhodes_ Wait, when did Mama get a Twitter? (Also, Mama, tap the arrow on the bottom left of the keyboard.)
> 
> **Mama Rhodes** _@RRhodes_
> 
> _@WarMachine @iamironman_ It worked! THANK YOU, Tony. I can always count on my baby to help me with this crazy technology. 
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamironman_ Blame your son for giving Mama a Twitter account.

**FRIDAY** _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._

“Peter, explain yourself. No, don’t turn away from me young man. Why did you give an eighty year old woman the ability to tweet? Peter!” - Tony Stark, to Peter Stark

 **2.3M** likes **1.9M** retweets

**FRIDAY** @ _F.R.I.D.A.Y._

“You’ll never catch me alive!” - Peter Stark, amidst cackling, to Tony Stark as they sprint down the hallway

 **6.6M** likes **4.5M** retweets

**FRIDAY** _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._

“Hey, no fair! You can’t use your suits! Hey— DAD!” - Peter Stark to Tony Stark, seconds prior to being imprisoned by an Iron Man suit

 **4.9M** likes **2.8M** retweets

**Mama Rhodes** [verified]

_@RRhodes_

@iamironman and @WarMachine’s mama, @I-Am-Spider-Man’s grandma.

Location: Pittsburgh, MA

Joined: April 2017

 **6** Following **101** Followers

**Tony Stark** _@iamironman_

 _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ You had your grandmother verified on Twitter?

 **1.1M** likes **927.3k** retweets

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@iamironman_ so no one can impersonate her!!!!
> 
> **Alex** _@alexandrathe666th_
> 
> _@iamironman @I-Am-Spider-Man_ IM ACTUALLY SCREAMING THATS SO CUTE!!! PETER SAID GRANDMA RIGHTS
> 
> **James** _@updatestele_
> 
> _@iamironman @I-Am-Spider-Man @alexandrathe666th_ we stan mama rhodes. she was at graduation and would hug anyone who came within three meters of her. i passed by several times just bc her hugs are AMAZING
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@iamironman @alexandrathe666th @updatestele_ on god grandmas hugs are the most amazing hugs on the planet (next to dads but hes stingy)
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamironman_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man @alexandrathe666th @updatestele_ Excuse.
> 
> |
> 
> **virtuous** _@virtusoli_
> 
> _@iamironman_ i’m still stuck on “spidey sense”
> 
> |
> 
> **CiCi** _@franzole_
> 
> _@iamironman_ Is it weird to say I also wanna be Peters grandma?
> 
> **Juniper** _@blondesi_
> 
> _@iamironman @franzole_ yes, that’s really weird?? what the fuck
> 
> **CiCi** _@franzole_
> 
> _@iamironman @blondesi_ Oh fr?
> 
> **Juniper** _@blondesi_
> 
> _@iamironman @franzole_ WHY DID YOU THINK IT WASN’T
> 
> |
> 
> **Mama Rhodes** _@RRhodes_
> 
> _@iamironman_ How do I make my own Tweet?
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamironman_
> 
> _@RRhodes_ Oh, what has Peter started with this… Give me a minute, Mama, and I’ll call you to talk you through it.

**Mama Rhodes** _@RRhodes_

To that mean, sour man saying my grandbaby is a menace, I want to let you know he is the most selfless boy on this planet and has saved New York more times than your fake news ever has.

 **212.8k** likes **121.9k** retweets

> |
> 
> **Alex** _@alexandrathe666th_
> 
> _@RRhodes_ GRANDMA TO THE RESCUE!! you tell him, mama! peter is our good boy

**virtuous** _@virtusoli_

seriously NO ONE else is concerned about the “spidey sense” thing??? nobody?

 **11.2k** likes **9.8k** retweets

> |
> 
> **Summer** _@sunnygamer_
> 
> _@virtusoli_ dude just let it go
> 
> **virtuous** _@virtusoli_
> 
> _@sunnygamer_ I CAN’T LET THAT GO, SUMMER.
> 
> **Summer** _@sunnygamer_
> 
> _@virtusoli_ AS YOUR BEST FRIEND I AM BEGGING YOU TO.

**Tony Stark** [verified]

_@iamirondad_

You know who I am.

Location: New York

Joined: May 2006

 **14** Following **25.9M** Followers

**Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_

 _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ I’m waiting, kid.

 **928.9k** likes **842.5k** retweets

> |
> 
> **Peter Parker** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@iamirondad_ SIGH
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ Don’t sigh at me.
> 
> **Peter Parker** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@iamirondad_ just did
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ Still waiting… 
> 
> **Peter Parker** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@iamirondad_ oh fine
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@I-Am-Spider-Man_ Also, take those ridiculous dashes out of your handle. It gets tiring to type. Seriously, have some respect.
> 
> **Peter Parker** _@I-Am-Spider-Man_
> 
> _@iamirondad_ you literally dont even— oh whatever

**Peter Stark** [verifed]

_@iamspiderson_

i lifted thor’s hammer once

Joined: September 2014

Location: NY, USA

 **16** Following **15.1M** Followers

**Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_

dad made me do it

 **2.5M** likes **1.7M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ I’m so proud.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@iamirondad_ r u implying u werent proud of me before
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ What? No. Kid, don’t do that. You know I’m proud of you regardless. You could literally be the laziest turd on the planet, and I’d be proud.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@iamirondad_ aww dad ;-; that was so sweet, i cant tease u when ur being so soft what the heck
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ Mission accomplished.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@iamirondad_ that does remind me tho! i have smthn for you.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ Oh? I always love a good surprise.

**JARVIS** [verified]

_@J.A.R.V.I.S._

Tony Stark is my co-pilot

Joined: April 2017

Location: Anywhere

 **3** Following **2** Followers

**JARVIS** _@J.A.R.V.I.S._

 _@iamirondad_ It is good to see you again, sir.

 **291.3k** likes **129k** retweets

> |
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@J.A.R.V.I.S._ Is this a joke??
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@J.A.R.V.I.S. @iamirondad_ nope!! vision helped. he let me peek into his coding to see if i could extract the remnants of JARVIS’ code, and i reprogrammed him from there. almost all of his old files have restored the more ive repaired.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@J.A.R.V.I.S. @iamspiderson_ You… are the best kid EVER get down here right now, Peter.

**FRIDAY** _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._

Although my normal prerogative is to simply quote the Stark family, I decided this was best shared in video. (Permission was obtained.)

[attached: a thirty second video. In it, Tony had Peter wrapped up in the biggest hug he could possibly muster, and was pressing kisses all over his son’s face. Peter’s laughter chimed softly in the air as his dad smothered him.

“I love you, Peter Anthony,” Tony said, each word murmured between a kiss adorned on his beloved son’s face. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“It’s not about deserving,” Peter replied. “I love you. That’s all that matters.”

Tony paused, looked at his son for a moment, then tucked Peter up into his neck. He cupped the back of his son’s head, and closed his eyes. You can barely see the beginnings of tears lining Tony’s eyes before the video cuts.]

 **9.2M** likes **9.1M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Leia** _@doodleia_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._ I actually might cry this is the cutest shit Ive ever seen in my LIFE, why cant everyone have this PURE LOVE
> 
> |
> 
> **Alex** _@alexandrathe666th_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._ this is all i could’ve ever asked for, i love this family more than i love myself
> 
> **Naomi** _@naomisinstra__
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @alexandrathe666th_ Girl, noooo! Peter wouldn’t want you to love yourself less than anything!
> 
> **Alex** _@alexandrathe666th_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @naomisinstra__ you kno, your absolutely right. thank you
> 
> |
> 
> **Iron Spider-Man** _@stark.png_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._ WE STAN a healthy father-son relationship!! IT IS NORMAL TO EXPRESS LOVE AND FEELINGS AND APPRECIATION FOR EACH OTHER. HUG EVERY ONE IN A WHILE DAMMIT 
> 
> **Thottie** _@thorcouldruinme_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @stark.png_ fathers across the world need to be taking notes rn bc tony stark's fathering is literally Goals
> 
> **Iron Spider-Man** _@stark.png_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @thorcouldruinme_ actually tho!!! dads, pay attention!! this is how ur child deserves to be treated, each and every day!! (also learn to say sorry sometimes smh)
> 
> |
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._ This is very sweet. All the best to both of you.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @CaptainAmerica_ why are u on this post… 
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @iamspiderson_ Peter, you replied! Please, I just want to talk to you.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @CaptainAmerica_ thats funny. considering u didnt ever want to talk to my dad when he was begging u to
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @iamspiderson_ Peter, please. I know I’ve made some mistakes.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @CaptainAmerica_ some????? 
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @iamspiderson_ A lot. I would like to explain. Smooth things over.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @CaptainAmerica_ dont you think its two years too late for that??? ok, this is just ridiculous. we arent gonna talk about this. now or ever. now dont respond to mine, dad, pepper, uncle rhodey, jarvis or fridays posts again. bye.
> 
> **big oof** _@bigoofs_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @CaptainAmerica @iamspiderson_ big oof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am... so tired. it is 1:30 in the morning. 
> 
> this is my gentle way of easing back into this au on a more serious topic. pls bear with. idk when i'll be able to update because my classes are rly heavy handed in writing, but i'll do my best
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://aatticsaltt.tumblr.com/). I mean, if you want.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **FRIDAY** _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._  
>  “Why didn’t you tell me you were in loooooove, Peter? I thought we were buds!” - Tony Stark, to Peter Stark over the teen’s muffled screaming into his pillow  
>  **3.4M** likes **1.1M** retweets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took me a while to get around to this haha  
> BUT I AM BACK ON MY TWITTER HIGH
> 
> i missed these dorks
> 
> enjoy! :D

**Steve Rogers** [verified]

_@CaptainAmerica_

Kickin’ Nazi Ass Since 1918

Location: Redacted

Joined: January 2013

 **7** Following **8.1M** Followers

**Natasha** [verified]

_@blackwidow_

You know nothing.

Location: Redacted

Joined: August 2015

 **7** Following **9M** Followers

**Sam Wilson** [verified]

_@TheFalcon_

Cap’s Right Hand Man

Location: Redacted

Joined: August 2013

 **33** Following **1M** Followers

**Sam Wilson** _@TheFalcon_

 _@CaptainAmerica_ Great job, Steve.

> |
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@TheFalcon_ Don’t patronize me.
> 
> **Sam Wilson** _@TheFalcon_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ Not patronizing. Just commending you on a job well done. You succeeded in getting Peter to block us from every one of their accounts!
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@TheFalcon_ Ha ha. You’re hilarious.
> 
> **Sam Wilson** _@TheFalcon_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ What’s your plan now, genius? Since your first bright idea worked out so well.
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@TheFalcon_ Well… _@blackwidow_ , you have any ideas?
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@TheFalcon @CaptainAmerica_ There’s no way I can hack through the Stark secure server. Is there anyone close to the Stark family who hasn’t been blocked?
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@TheFalcon @blackwidow_ Tony, Pepper, Rhodey, Rhodey’s mother, Peter, Ned, JARVIS, FRIDAY and Happy are blocked… who else does Tony follow who we could talk to?
> 
> **Sam Wilson** _@TheFalcon_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @blackwidow_ There’s Harley Keener.
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@TheFalcon @CaptainAmerica_ Of course! Let me handle this. This situation requires delicacy.
> 
> **Sam Wilson** _@TheFalcon_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ _@blackwidow_ Somehow, I’m not so sure your brand of delicacy is going to help us much either… 

**Harley Keener** [verified]

_@harleykeen_

I’m only on here because Peter forced me.

Location: Tennessee

Joined: July 2013

 **12.9k** Following **438.1k** Followers

**Harley Keener** _@harleykeen_

does anyone know how the fuck u grow potatoes? bc these shits keep dying on me

 **1.4k** likes **939** retweets

> |
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@harleykeen_ Harley, can we talk?
> 
> **Harley Keener** _@harleykeen_
> 
> _@blackwidow_ do u know how to grow potatoes?
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@harleykeen_ I could ask around.
> 
> **Harley Keener** _@harleykeen_
> 
> _@blackwidow_ so thats a no… and in that case i have nothing to talk to you about.
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@harleykeen_ Please, hear me out on this. It’s important.
> 
> **Harley Keener** _@harleykeen_
> 
> _@blackwidow_ funnily enough, idc. u guys made my best friend cry. so i have very little to talk to u about, important or not
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@harleykeen_ I want to be able to speak with Peter, possibly even Tony, to be able to discuss the events at Leipzig.
> 
> **Harley Keener** _@harleykeen_
> 
> _@blackwidow_ and u need to talk to me to do that why???
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@harleykeen_ Peter blocked all of us. 
> 
> **Harley Keener** _@harleykeen_
> 
> _@blackwidow_ good for him
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@harleykeen_ We just want to be able to speak with him, try to help him understand why everything happened the way it did.
> 
> **Harley Keener** _@harleykeen_
> 
> _@blackwidow_ thats RICH. ok, first step to not being total dickbags, maybe try learning how to apologize instead of “helping him 2 understand”. just bc ur with captain america doesnt make u sm sorta moral authority to where u cant be wrong
> 
> **Harley Keener** _@harleykeen_
> 
> _@blackwidow_ peter owes u guys nothing. im not gonna be part of anything thats gonna hurt him or tony. accept the fact u guys fucked up, give an actual apology, or piss off
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@harleykeen_ Harley, wait, please. [error sending Tweet: This user has blocked you.]

**Sam Wilson** _@TheFalcon_

 _@blackwidow_ Yeah… really fucking delicate there.

> |
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@TheFalcon_ You try and do better then.
> 
> **Sam Wilson** _@TheFalcon_
> 
> _@blackwidow_ Watch and learn.

**Shuri** [verified]

_@shuri_

King T’Challa is not as cool as you think he is.

Joined: April 2016

Location: Wakanda

 **48** Following **2.3M** Followers

**Sam Wilson** _@TheFalcon_

 _@shuri_ If I asked you to hack something for me, how much would you be willing on a scale of 1-10?

 **238.1k** likes **139.8k** retweets

> |
> 
> **Shuri** _@shuri_
> 
> _@TheFalcon_ 10\. >:D
> 
> |
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@TheFalcon_ Not bad.
> 
> **Sam Wilson** _@TheFalcon_
> 
> _@blackwidow_ It’s called common sense. You super spies and super soldiers always have to be so dramatic about everything.
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@TheFalcon_ Ha ha.

**FRIDAY** [verified]

_@F.R.I.D.A.Y._

Tony Stark’s Personal AI

Location: Anywhere

Joined: September 2015

 **3** Following **10.2k** Followers

**FRIDAY** _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._

“Peter! No… no, what have you done?!” - Tony Stark, aghast, to Peter Stark

 **4.3M** likes **2.9M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Alex** _@alexandrathe666th_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._ um……………. ARE THEY OKAY?!! WHAT'S GOING ON??

**FRIDAY** _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._

“Dad, you actually need to calm down right now.” - Peter Stark, to Tony Stark

 **1.2M** likes **991.2k** retweets

> |
> 
> **Alex** _@alexandrathe666th_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._ oh ok they’re fine

**Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_

can u imagine being tony stark, drama queen extraordinaire? yeah, me either

 **3M** likes **2.8M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> u may ask urself: what is my dad being dramatic about this time? lemme tell u. 
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> my hair was getting annoyingly long for the suit, so i asked happy (hes actually a rly good barber, who knew?) to cut my hair a little shorter. literally like, an inch
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> i show dad and hes been POUTING EVER SINCE
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> smh
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ A whole inch Peter! A whole inch of your hair! That’s a whole inch of hair I can’t play with anymore. This is father abuse.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@iamirondad_ it will grow back!
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ It’s the principle of the thing, Peter. Your precious little head grew that hair, and then you just chop it off?? Have some respect.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@iamirondad_ this kinda thought process is y u still have my baby teeth. its gross, dad, let it go
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ No. They’re so cute.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@iamirondad_ ugh
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @iamirondad_ I’m surprised he didn’t cry in the corner.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @WarMachine_ Thin fuckin’ ice, Jimbo.
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @iamirondad_ I think they deserve to hear how I had to bribe you with coffee to get you to let go of Peter when you took him to get his first haircut. One he, by the way, desperately needed.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @WarMachine_ You suck.
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @iamirondad_ And swallow, honey.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @WarMachine_ Mr. Rhodes, are you trying to seduce me?
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @iamirondad_ I don’t need to try, Mr. Stark.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @WarMachine_ Are you saying I’m easy?
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @iamirondad_ You never were very difficult.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @WarMachine_ What can I say? You know how to work what you got.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@iamirondad @WarMachine_ thanks, i cant wait to bleach my eyes
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @iamirondad_ In any case, Tony absolutely lost it when the hairdresser started cutting Peter’s hair for the first time when he was a toddler. The hairdresser was so stressed out because, while Peter loved getting his hair trimmed,
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @iamirondad_ [continued] she also had a sobbing Tony Stark in the corner of her shop.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @WarMachine_ I didn’t want him to have Rapunzel hair, but my poor baby’s hair… 
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@iamirondad @WarMachine_ pls just move on. ive had hundreds of hair cuts.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @WarMachine_ Don’t remind me.
> 
> **Pepper Potts** _@VirginiaPotts_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @iamirondad @WarMachine_ I’ll speak to him when I get home this evening.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@iamirondad @WarMachine @VirginiaPotts_ pepper to the rescue. blessed(™)
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @WarMachine @VirginiaPotts_ [sobbing_emoji]
> 
> |
> 
> **Eye of the Beholder** _@beautyin_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ this thread has actually blessed my entire soul. tony stark crying over peter’s hair cuts?? thank u… thank u
> 
> **Cat** _@Nekornosso_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @beautyin_ actually tho!! i never knew i needed this until i got it
> 
> **cameron** _@hugzfun_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @beautyin @Nekornosso_ tbh im just here for tony being a slut for rhodey’s dick
> 
> **Cat** _@Nekornosso_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @beautyin @hugzfan_ um, hello?? keep it pg-13, dude! there are kids on here
> 
> **cameron** _@hugzfan_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @beautyin @Nekornosso_ u cant tell me you weren’t thinking about it
> 
> **Cat** _@Nekornosso_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @beautyin @hugzfan_ … 
> 
> **cameron** _@hugzfan_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @beautyin @Nekornosso_ knew it hahaha
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@beautyin @Nekornosso @hugzfan_ i dont think bleach is gonna be enough

**MJ** [verified]

_@michellejones_

I’m not obsessive, I’m just observant.

Location: NYC

Joined: January 2013

 **250** Following **325.9k** Followers

**MJ** _@michellejones_

More detention doodles.

[attached: four images of four separate doodles of kids in crisis. Peter was among the four, and notably more detailed than the others.]

 **291.3k** likes **122k** retweets

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@michellejones_ hey thats me!
> 
> **MJ** _@michellejones_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ Astute observation.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@michellejones_ i try. but i wasnt even in detention? im literally not in school anymore, why am i there
> 
> **MJ** _@michellejones_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ We were videochatting, you were in crisis over your spider-silk formula.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@michellejones_ oh yeah!!! i remember now haha
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@michellejones_ WAIT SO THAT REALLY WAS COACH WILSON TALKING
> 
> **MJ** _@michellejones_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ Yup.

**Ned Leeds** [verified]

_@__deathstxr__

Peter Stark’s best friend, man in the chair, and galactic authority on Star Wars.

Location: NY, USA

Joined: July 2014

 **15** Following **182.3k** Followers

**Ned Leeds** _@__deathstxr__

 _@iamspiderson_ ohhhhhohohohohohooh >:) videochatting, huh?

 **102.3k** likes **77.5k**

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@__deathstxr__ oh no
> 
> **Ned Leeds** _@__deathstxr__
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ oh yes… i see u… i saw it… i know…
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@__deathstxr__ noooooooooo
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@__deathstxr_ @iamspiderson_ [eyes_emoji] What’s going on here? Is there gossip I don’t know about?
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@__deathstxr_ @iamirondad_ NOOOOO
> 
> **Ned Leeds** _@__deathstxr__
> 
> _@iamspiderson @iamirondad_ ill text u about it mr stark
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@__deathstxr_ @iamirondad_ BETRAYAL.

**FRIDAY** _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._

“Why didn’t you tell me you were in loooooove, Peter? I thought we were buds!” - Tony Stark, to Peter Stark over the teen’s muffled screaming into his pillow

 **3.4M** likes **1.1M** retweets

**Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_

To all of those saying I should butt out of Peter’s business: no. He’s my kid, and I like the drama. 

**4.6M** likes **3.5M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> I get the whole, “Not getting along with your parents enough to be honest with them,” shtick. Believe me, been there, done that. But Peter and I tell each other everything, always have, always will.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> Maybe instead of worrying about how I’m parenting my child, Karen, you can worry about how your acidic mindset is poisoning your relationship with your own kids.
> 
> **My Dear Watson** _@superwholockian_
> 
> _@iamirondad_ im snapping for this excellent display of parenthood
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@iamirondad @superwholockian_ omg superwholock still exists?
> 
> **My Dear Watson** _@superwholockian_
> 
> _@iamirondad @iamspiderson_ yes!! are you in the fandom? >:D
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@iamirondad @superwholockian_ no u guys are scary… 
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@iamirondad @superwholockian_ plus after meeting thor an valkyrie, supernatural is really boring in comparison. and sherlock isnt rly an accurate example of a genius… plus he just looks a lot like dr strange and that throws me off
> 
> **My Dear Watson** _@superwholockian_
> 
> _@iamirondad @iamspiderson_ gAAASP
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @superwholockian_ Save the theatrics for someone who actually cares, please.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @superwholockian_ Besides, the only fandoms allowed in this house are Star Wars and Star Trek. Occasionally RuPaul’s Drag Race.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@iamirondad @superwholockian_ now thats the real tea

**Callie** _@beardi_

Hey, _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._!

 **1.5M** likes **863.1k** retweets

> |
> 
> **FRIDAY** _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._
> 
> _@beardi_ Yes?
> 
> **Callie** _@beardi_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._ Is it weird not being the only ai tony stark has anymore?
> 
> **FRIDAY** _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._
> 
> _@beardi_ I do not experience human emotions, nor any sensation of “weirdness”. However, Mr. Stark has always had a number of AI’s, including J.O.C.A.S.T.A. and T.A.D.A.S.H.I.. 
> 
> **Callie** _@beardi_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._ Yeah, but like, jarvis is back
> 
> **JARVIS** _@J.A.R.V.I.S._
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @beardi_ Indeed I am. F.R.I.D.A.Y. and I both have separate servers but we run sections within Stark Industries, as well as work seamlessly together in all of the Stark family's personal devices, vehicles, and homes to ensure maximum security.
> 
> **FRIDAY** _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._
> 
> _@J.A.R.V.I.S._ In the event one server fails, there is another to assume control to ensure no loss of productivity. 
> 
> **Callie** _@beardi_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @J.A.R.V.I.S._ It’s like you guys are married lol. 
> 
> **JARVIS** _@J.A.R.V.I.S._
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y. @beardi_ I suppose that is the easiest way to describe our functionality together.

**Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_

 _@iamspiderson_ Peter, I know you are still mad at me, and it’s well deserved anger. But can we please talk?

 **538.4k** likes **431.6k** retweets

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ you have GOT to be kidding me
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ I know this is hard on you, but the world needs the Avengers.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ NO YOU DONT KNOW. okay?! you have NO IDEA how hard this was on me! how hard it still is! 
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ Then tell me.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ u meant the world to me. u were my uncle steve. u played knights with me, we went on morning runs together with me on ur shoulders. u met may and ben, and wed eat almost every meal together
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ we were friends, u and my dad were friends, and then one person comes back and you leave us?! u throw all of that away? why, steve? i dont get it, how could u throw that away?
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ “How could I throw you away?” Right?
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ yes! how could u steve? how could u leave all of that behind? u were one of my heroes. i wanted to be just like you.
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ I never wanted to cast you aside, Peter. Nor your dad. After I found Bucky, it was like he was all I could think about. I acted irrationally, I see that now, and I’m sorry for hurting you. For hurting both of you.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ whats so different now? why are u finally apologizing?
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ I’ve realized recently, watching Spider-Man grow into being a hero, that I haven’t always acted in the best interests of the people. I let myself get blinded by personal desire.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ you learned that by watching me?
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ You, Peter Anthony Stark, are one of the most selfless people I’ve ever known. You give all of yourself to everyone, even sometimes to your own detriment. I hurt a lot of people trying to protect Bucky.
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ It was wrong. Both sides of this made mistakes, but I know I didn’t make it any easier to make the right choices.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ no, you didnt…
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ And I’m sorry for that. I pushed a fight that didn’t need to be fought. I should’ve trusted my team more, accords or not.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ yeah, that wouldve been nice
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ dad didnt want to sign the accords either, u know... but he was working on amendments already that the avengers could put forward to make the document the best as it could be
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ Really?
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ yeah. they wouldve hurt me, too. but there wasnt many other choices with 117 countries wanting the accords to be ratified. 
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ They should’ve let us know sooner, so we could’ve amended the document before we’d ever had to sign.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ uh, duh, they rly should have, but thats not the hand that was dealt. not everything is a fight u can win. sometimes u have to stand down and work from within the lines
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ I’m not sure that’s something I know how to do.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ then you really havent learned anything. bye, steve
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ Peter, no, wait.
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ Peter! [error sending Tweet: This user has blocked you.]

**Shuri** _@shuri_

 _@CaptainAmerica_ I go through all of that trouble to break through two super AIs, and you still get yourself blocked again?

 **2.1M** likes **1.7M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@shuri_ Could you do it again?
> 
> **Shuri** _@shuri_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ Sure, why not? I won’t unblock you a third time, though.
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@shuri_ Thank you, Shuri.

**Steve Rogers** [verified]

_@CaptainAmerica_

Kickin’ Nazi Ass Since 1918

Location: Redacted

Joined: January 2013

 **7** Following **8.1M** Followers

**Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_

 _@iamspiderson_ I’m not giving up on making this right, kid. Also, do you have a crush on someone? Is that what I’m seeing?

 **5.8M** likes **4.7M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ UGH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spideychelle will be a minor pairing but it was fun having them tease peter about it a little haha
> 
> edit: i forgot the col. part on some of rhodey's tweets... oopsies...
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://aatticsaltt.tumblr.com/). I mean, if you want.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_  
>  shit? lost. sanity? nonexistent. hotel? trivago  
>  **2.2M** likes **1.5M** retweets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so longggg  
> i've been traveling a lot this summer, its been a lot of fun but has not left much energy/time to write
> 
> however, i still do plan on finishing this fic by the end of july, so stay posted!!
> 
> probably will do another chapter, maybe two. depends on how i want to proceed
> 
> fair warning: this is probably the most anti-team cap this fic will get. it had to reach a peak at some point whoops :p
> 
> enjoy, and thanks as always for the support!

**Tony Stark**

_@iamirondad_

I’m gonna need you to unblock Steve again.

_22:30_

Again?

_22:34_

Your son is very adamant about not talking to him!

I have been meaning to ask though…

Isn’t it a little bit cruel to keep letting me pretend to hack into your servers?

_22:35_

What, are you worried that it’s going to tarnish my reputation?

I’m fairly decent at doing that without anyone’s assistance.

_22:41_

No. I just mean, isn’t it a little mean to Peter?

_22:43_

Maybe.

But, between me and Peter, I think he’s still the one hurting the most over what happened during the confrontation.

_22:59_

What makes you think that?

You got pretty busted up yourself.

Harley filled me in on what all went down.

Including, you know. What you found out.

_22:59_

I’ll have to talk to him… blabbermouth.

But, you know already, so whatever. In any case, I’ve not moved on from what happened, nor do I think I’ll ever really forgive Steve, but when I came back, it was like I had a stranger for a son.

_23:03_

?

_23:03_

Peter and I are the only blood relations each of us have left.

I guess, seeing what the fight did to me, something in him snapped. I’ve never seen him act that way; he’s always been a little ray of sunshine, but for a few weeks following… it was like I didn’t know him at all.

_23:05_

That’s kind of hard to believe, knowing him.

_23:05_

It was harder to watch as his father.

Seeing Peter so wrapped up in emotional turmoil was harder than anything I’d gone through. He’d curled up in the hospital chair beside my bed and didn’t move for hours, looking like he was seconds away from screaming or bursting into tears.

When I flinched because a nurse aggravated my arm, he had grabbed her faster than I could see him move and nearly snapped her wrist.

_23:10_

Fuck…

_23:10_

I know.

So, I think, if anything it needs to be Peter talking to Steve.

He needs to move past all this hatred he’s been festering for months now.

If they can forgive each other, and Steve genuinely apologizes to Peter, everything would flow much smoother.

_23:17_

Peter is sort of the lifeblood of the Avengers, huh?

_23:19_

He’s mine, at the very least.

Like I said, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive Steve, but if my son trusts him and forgives him, I’m willing to work with him again.

But until Peter can move past and reconcile, I don’t think he’d let me out of the house to fight whatever comes up, if Steve’s there.

_23:21_

Aren’t you Iron Man??

_23:22_

My kid is Spider-Man…

You’ve run tests on his strength, he could snap my suit in half, if he really felt inclined.

_23:22_

Ah, yeah, true.

Kind of scary, honestly.

Glad he got the powers instead of some psychopath.

_23:23_

I wish no one had gotten them at all.

Shit, my cardiogram has been everywhere with the stress of watching him swing around New York.

_23:25_

Lmaoooo

_23:25_

Haha, laugh it up.

Just wait until you have a kid and they get crazy super powers.

_23:25_

I’ll pass.

But, given all that…

You do know I only offered to be a temporary therapist though, right?

_23:26_

Yeah, I know.

Thank you for listening anyway, Shuri.

_23:26_

That’s what fellow geniuses are for!

_23:37_

[Read]

* * *

**Peter Stark** [verified]

_@iamspiderson_

i lifted thor’s hammer once

Location: NY, USA

Joined: September 2014

 **16** Following **15.7M** Followers

**Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_

i sweaarrrr if steve gets unblocked from my account one more time imma lose my shit

 **2.4M** likes **1.9M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ I’ll assume this isn’t a good time, then.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ oh fuck off
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ Language!
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @CaptainAmerica_ For fucks sake, let it go.

**Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_

shit? lost. sanity? nonexistent. hotel? trivago

 **2.2M** likes **1.5M** retweets

**Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_

 _@iamspiderson_ Peter, this conversation isn’t over yet.

 **1.8M** likes **938.8k** retweets

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ blocked. not happening. 

**Natasha** _@blackwidow_

 _@iamspiderson_ Peter…

 **835.5k** likes **482.2k** retweets

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@blackwidow_ nope.

**Sam Wilson** _@TheFalcon_

 _@iamspiderson_ Peter, please, we only want to talk.

 **467.3k** likes **196.5k** retweets

**Sam Wilson** _@TheFalcon_

 _@iamspiderson_ Oh, so you won’t reply to me? Really?

 **3.7M** likes **1.9M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@TheFalcon_ [middle finger emoji]
> 
> **Sam Wilson** _@TheFalcon_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ Mature…
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@TheFalcon @iamspiderson_ He is 15.

**Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_

foolishly, mayhaps, but i had assumed the most stress i would experience in life is when im waiting for my dad to come home from being a superhero, or idk getting shot at or smthn, but no, its dealing with my dads ex-friends

 **6.8M** likes **4M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Harley Keener** _@harleykeen_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ if you need help beating them up, call me first
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@harleykeen_ [fist emoji] potato gun war
> 
> **Harley Keener** _@harleykeen_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ damn right. though if u just wanna talk im here for u man
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@harleykeen_ thanks, harley. love u
> 
> **Harley Keener** _@harleykeen_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ love u too pete
> 
> **Ned Leeds** _@__deathstxr__
> 
> _@iamspiderson @harleykeen_ group video chat!
> 
> |
> 
> **MJ** _@michellejones_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ I’m pretty sure the government wouldn’t prosecute you if you kicked their ass. 
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@michellejones_ 0-0 mj…
> 
> **MJ** _@michellejones_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ I’m just saying.
> 
> |
> 
> **Tony Stark** _ @iamirondad _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson  _ Excuse me, are you getting shot at?
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @iamirondad  _ [grimace emoji]

**FRIDAY** _ @F.R.I.D.A.Y. _

“DAD I’M NOT HURT, OH MY GOD, STOP IT, WILL YOU LET ME GO?!” - Peter Stark, to Tony Stark, as Tony wrestles Peter’s shirt off to check for wounds.

**3.9M** likes **1.5M** retweets

> |
> 
> **spidey's gf** _@spyderbi_
> 
> _@F.R.I.D.A.Y._ i really shouldnt find this that funny its kind of really sad

**Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_

obligatory photo shoot with blossom bc i need my support dog now more than ever :(((

[attached: a set of two selfies with Peter and Blossom. The Spaniel was licking her owner's clearly damp cheeks, and Peter's eyes were rimmed with red, like he'd been crying for hours. He was wearing an MIT sweater far too big to be his own.]

 **4.1M** likes **2.7M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Alex** _@alexandrathe666th_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ ok who is gonna punch cap first bc IM READY TO RUMBLE BITCH

**BuzzFeed** _@BuzzFeed_

Internet abuzz with the tension between Steve Rogers, otherwise known as Captain America, and New York’s sweetheart, Peter Stark, also known as the up-and-coming hero, Spider-Man. 

**349k** likes **148.4k** retweets

> |
> 
> **BuzzFeed** _@BuzzFeed_
> 
> Most seem to be siding with Stark, sympathizing with his antagonistic feelings regarding the once-Avenger.

**Newsweek** _@Newsweek_

Looming of a new “Civil War” headed by Rogers and the younger Stark?

[attached: an article speculating Peter and Steve’s more frequent head-butting on Twitter.]

 **438.2k** likes **111.9k** retweets

**LAT Entertainment** _@latimesent_

Rumors abound about how the Wakandan Princess, _@Shuri_ , is continuously able to hack into Stark’s secure servers. Tony Stark suspiciously quiet regarding Rogers and his son.

 **291.8k** likes **99.9k** retweets

**Mama Rhodes** _@RRhodes_

Peter, baby, you need to come visit your grandma sometime! Destress some.

 **34.9k** likes **12.4k** retweets

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@RRhodes_ ;-; id love that i miss u smsm grandma, i wish u lived closer
> 
> **Mama Rhodes** _@RRhodes_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ That’s what all your daddy’s planes are for. To bring you to see your old grandma.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@RRhodes_ old???? u dont look a day over 20!!
> 
> **Mama Rhodes** _@RRhodes_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ That’s my sweet baby.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamspiderson_ He’s not sweet, he’s a kiss-up. He told me I look 92!
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamirondad_ stop infiltrating my threads! 
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamspiderson_ Not until you take back your “old and decrepit” comment!
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamirondad_ what? u dont wanna hear the truth?? >:P
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamspiderson_ You little shit. I will ground you.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamirondad_ this is a grandma and peter conversation only so u have no rights here
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamspiderson_ She was my Mama first!
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamirondad_ im her only grandkid!
> 
> **Mama Rhodes** _@RRhodes_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @iamirondad_ Boys.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamspiderson_ Sorry, Mama.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamirondad_ sorry grandma :(
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamspiderson @iamirondad_ lol.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamspiderson @WarMachine_ Quit with your lols!
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamspiderson @iamirondad_ You don’t own me. This isn’t 1872, I got more rights now. Not a lot, but I got ‘em.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamspiderson @WarMachine_ Is that another vine reference?
> 
> **Col. James Rhodes** _@WarMachine_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamspiderson @iamirondad_ No, TikTok.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@RRhodes @iamspiderson @WarMachine_ I regret many things. One of them is letting Peter show you internet memes.

**Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_

That being said: support BLM. The fact some idiots haven’t gotten that through their thick, empty skulls is pathetic.

 **64.3M** likes **53.1M** retweets

**Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_

since my only relief from craptain america rn is being spidey,,, going live in about ten minutes. dont miss it :p as always: twitch is the same as my handle

 **5.9M** likes **3.8M** retweets

> |
> 
> **virtuous** _@virtusoli_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ im still waiting to hear you verbally say “spidey-senses”
> 
> **Summer** _@sunnygamer_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @virtusoli_ i literally hate you
> 
> |
> 
> **its dAta not dAHta** _@datamill_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ honestly why do you even use twitch?? u should have your own streaming website at this point
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@datamill_ i hear u but also thats a lot of work since i already have a twitch so hard pass my dude
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@datamill_ plus i already do gaming streams w/ _@__deathstxr__ when i have the time, so it just works out that way
> 
> **its dAta not dAHta** _@datamill_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ fair fair
> 
> **its dAta not dAHta** _@datamill_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ also i love ur gaming streams LMAO u guys r hilarious
> 
> |
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ Am I allowed to watch?
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@blackwidow_ i GUESS. not like i can apparently stop u guys anyway… thanks for asking tho
> 
> |
> 
> **Alex** _@alexandrathe666th_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ i will cry i love your streams so much you’re so wholesome peter ;-;
> 
> **Ty** _@tymc_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @alexandrathe666th_ not as wholesome as blossom
> 
> **Alex** _@alexandrathe666th_
> 
> _@iamspiderson @tymc_ now that’s the real tea
> 
> |
> 
> **Spidey-Watch** _@spideywatch_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ I’ll keep an eye out in the sky for you, Spidey!

**James**

_@updatestele_

mit grad. peter stark’s on-campus bff

Location: Cambridge, MA

Joined: August 2010

 **1.4k** Following **248.1k** Followers

**James** _@updatestele_

to the millions of people asking: yes, i realize the irony that my name is james and war machine’s name is also james, and we’re both generations of stark’s MIT best friends. okay? i got it.

 **259.3k** likes **147.3k** retweets

> |
> 
> **ruh-roh** _@GamerScooby_
> 
> _@updatestele_ whats ur last name tho
> 
> **James** _@updatestele_
> 
> _@GamerScooby_ wouldn't you like to know, weather boy

**James** _@updatestele_

 _@iamspiderson_ ANTHONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

 **3.9M** likes **1.5M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@updatestele_ yes, knock-off james rhodes?
> 
> **James** _@updatestele_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ first off: rude, i’m limited edition, bitch. second off: help.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@updatestele_ are u stuck on a problem again?
> 
> **James** _@updatestele_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ yes :(
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@updatestele_ u are the one attending graduate school not me what do u expect me to do about it???
> 
> **James** _@updatestele_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ oh im sorry mr. “270 IQ” but ur literally a fucking genius and the son of The Tony Stark i think u can manage helping me out with some homework
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@updatestele_ fine fine fine. text me the problem
> 
> **James** _@updatestele_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ you’re the best anthony

**Ned Leeds** [verified]

_@__deathstxr__

Peter Stark’s best friend and galactic authority on Star Wars.

Location: NY, USA

Joined: July 2014

 **15** Following **200.1k** Followers

**Ned Leeds** _@__deathstxr__

id be annoyed that _@updatestele_ says hes peters bff but considering he isnt even verified i choose not to worry about it :)

 **319k** likes **248.9k** retweets

> |
> 
> **James** _@updatestele_
> 
> _@__deathstxr__ u wanna fight leeds

**Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_

anyone know how to act normal on a date? i need lessons

 **5.2M** likes **3.8M** retweets

> |
> 
> **MJ** _@michellejones_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ You’re fine, dork. Also, please breathe before you faint.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@michellejones_ [skull emoji] i forgot u have twitter
> 
> **MJ** _@michellejones_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ How did you forget?
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@michellejones_ IM NERVOUS MJ

**Spidey-Watch** [verified]

_@spideywatch_

Spider-Man’s #1 Fan!

Location: NY, USA

Joined: December 2015

 **29** Following **1.4M** Followers

**Spidey-Watch** _@spideywatch_

Spidey’s on a date! [eyes emoji] You got this, Peter!

 **435.8k** likes **386.6k** retweets

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@spideywatch_ thank youuuuu u always got my back
> 
> **Spidey-Watch** _@spideywatch_
> 
> _@iamspiderson_ Always!

**Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_

 _@iamirondad_ Tony, can we talk?

 **11.7M** likes **9.9M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ I don’t imagine you’ll give me much choice, so sure, why not.
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamirondad_ What I can’t understand is why on Earth you would bring Peter to Leipzig. You’ve known this whole time he was Spider-Man, yet you bring him to confront us? Your own SON?
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ Ah.
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamirondad_ How can you possibly justify bringing a fourteen year old to a fight? I could’ve seriously injured him, Tony. Any of us could have.
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica_ I’m aware. You dropped a fucking loading ramp on him, I’ve not forgotten.
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamirondad_ Not to mention, keeping Peter’s secret from all of us. I’m not saying we need to know everything you do as his father, but him swinging around New York in fancy spandex is huge!
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad_ ENOUGH. you have ABSOLUTELY no room to speak about keeping secrets! and how dare you attack my dad about this?!
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamirondad @iamspiderson_ Peter, he allowed you to come to a fight against experienced heroes who are much stronger than you.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad_ i dont think i need to remind u the fuckin secret u had about my grandparents. and dad didnt allow it, i insisted on coming. neither of us thought a fight would happen
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad_ and im GLAD i was there. u kno why? bc the flight from germany to siberia is a lot shorter than if i was in new york wondering where the fuck my dad is after YOU abandoned him to FREEZE TO DEATH
> 
> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamspiderson_ Pete, that’s enough.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad_ no, its not. if he wants to attack u then he could listen for once in his damn life. ur my dad, and im gonna protect u since steve wont anymore
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _@CaptainAmerica_
> 
> _@iamirondad @iamspiderson_ Peter, if you guys ever needed me, I would be there.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad_ yeah what a joke
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @iamspiderson_ What I don’t get is why you didn’t trust us to tell what was going on. The spider-bite happened before the fight. Why didn’t you come to us?
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ i was dealing with the changes! i barely knew how to tell dad about it all, and it was right around the time that ben died… i didnt know how to process it all and when i finally was coming around to the idea u guys defected
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @iamspiderson_ I am still sorry for your loss, though I wasn’t ever sure who Ben was to you.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ … he was… we met at a baseball game. u kno i love sports and dad hates them but when i was about four years old dad took me to a mets game
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ i wanted to sit in the front rows and so dad let me pick our seats. i sat down next to a couple.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ as we watched the game, ben started talking to me. i loved him by the end of it bc he could actually tell me all the players names and what the plays were called
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ at the end of the game ben gave dad his contact info and we invited them over for dinner later that week. dad flew them out to california. and it just became a monthly thing, id go visit them all the time. they were my aunt may and uncle ben
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ somewhere along the way he became one of the greatest people ive ever known… spider-man became my way of paying homage to someone who was as close to a father to me as my own dad is
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ and when i got these powers… i didnt know what to do with them until he passed. i was still trying to figure it all out, and it scared me how different life was
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ how different I was. when ben died… i knew i had to do something.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ then when i was finally settling into everything and my new role as a hero, u guys fucked off to the other side of the world and i had to help my dad get back on his feet
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ its not fair! and i hate you guys so much for it. i wish u had never come into our lives, i wish i didnt have to see my dad broken because of friends who never gave two damns about him after what he could give you
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ i wish i hadnt loved you guys at all bc i just want you to come back
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @iamspiderson_ Peter… I’m so sorry. I know I hurt you, unintentionally, but I did. I wanted our friends to stay together, for the Avengers to stay together, but I felt put in a corner. It’s not an excuse, but I can’t change what happened now. 
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @iamspiderson_ Just know, I am so sorry for hurting you. I’ve regretted losing you every day since it happened. You’ve always been my little spider, long before you became Spider-Man.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ i miss u too. sorry for snapping
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @iamspiderson_ You had every right. I know you can’t forgive me right now, but can we try?
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ i uh maybe? 
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @iamspiderson_ Baby steps. I can text you in the mornings. Whether or not you reply is up to you, but I want to earn your trust back, Peter. The right way.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ …ok i can do that
> 
> **Natasha** _@blackwidow_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @iamspiderson_ Thank you. I’m gonna do everything I can to earn the right to your trust again. And this time I won’t break it, I promise.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _@CaptainAmerica @iamirondad @blackwidow_ dont make promises you cant keep

* * *

**Peter Stark**

_@iamspiderson_

I never realized that was how you and Ben had met.

_4:59pm_

yah well u never asked craptain

_5:00pm_

And that one is on me.

_5:00pm_

wow look @ that u can accept responsibility

if only u could do that for all ur other fuck ups

_5:01pm_

Peter, please… I don’t want our every conversation to be a fight.

You’re willing to work with Natasha.

Why can’t we start over too?

_5:04pm_

last i checked natasha didnt slam a shield through my dads arc reactor and left him in a frozen tundra with no way to call for back up

what the fuck do u think wouldve happened if friday hadnt alerted me an happy fast enough?

i wouldnt have a dad anymore

i wouldnt have ANY family anymore

_5:05pm_

I know. I’m sorry.

_5:05pm_

tell it to someone who cares.

_5:06pm_

I really am! I know I messed up, please, let me fix it.

Tell me how to fix this, Pete.

Please.

_5:06pm_

[delivered]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are some of these memes/pop culture references ahead of their time? yes. do i care? no.
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://aatticsaltt.tumblr.com/). I mean, if you want.


	4. The End of an Era

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Tony Stark** _@iamirondad_  
>  _@iamspiderson @beardi_ I would like for it to be on record I didn’t allow this little shit to take a vacation on a different planet to fight the Big Bad Guy, he clung to the side of the spaceship and wormed his way in like the parasite he is.
> 
>  **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_  
>  _@beardi @iamirondad_ RUDE. apologize to eddie and venom!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably one of the shortest chapters but i,,, its still good, i think. enjoy!

**Peter Stark** [verified]

_ @iamspiderson _

i lifted thor’s hammer once

Location: NY, USA

Joined: September 2014

**16** Following  **15.9M** Followers

**Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _

ok guys we are BACK. im sure you all were wondering about the whole, like, two month absence n stuff from all of us, but rest assured we are here to answer your questions again

**9.9M** likes  **8.3M** retweets

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> by we i mean, me, dad, and any of the avengers. yes, even steve. i know, crazy.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> a lot has happened since we went AWOL, including a very heartfelt apology, lots of tears (all steves lmao) and also fighting this weird grape-lookin dude from space with some fancy rocks
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> wild stuff. anyway: questions! send them :)
> 
> |
> 
> **Alex** _ @alexandrathe666th _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson _ so you’re just cool with steve again??
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @alexandrathe666th _ well i wouldnt say THAT, i dunno if ill ever be able to trust him the same way i used to before the whole civil war stuff, but we are on talking terms so
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @alexandrathe666th _ ig you could say we are cool???
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _ @CaptainAmerica _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson @alexandrathe666th _ I have a lot to still make up for, and I will happily spend the rest of my life making up for what I did in full, but Peter, at the very least, allowed me to apologize.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @alexandrathe666th @CaptainAmerica _ not forgiven but we r working on it and thats all i can rly ask, ig. i missed the asshole, even if his face makes me mad sometimes still to see
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _ @CaptainAmerica _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson @alexandrathe666th _ Entirely understandable.
> 
> |
> 
> **Ty** _ @tymc _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson _ honestly lowkey sad that you guys didnt make up over twitter :((( i didnt get to see cap grovel
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @tymc _ I MEAN he kind of did already. idk tho it was already uncomfortably public, especially considering how private the issue was, and i felt like i was having a world-wide counselor session w/u guys messages
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @tymc _ which i mean is cool but very exposing
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @tymc _ so honestly just kind of glad the actual reconciling ended up offline. bc like, it got super personal, and dad got involved. whole fiasco tbh
> 
> **Ty** _ @tymc _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson _ dude, you’re so right. sorry if i was insensitive, i guess i forgot how personal this all really is for you. 
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @tymc _ no worries! i know its easy to create a disconnect with “famous” people. thank you for apologizing though
> 
> |
> 
> **Summer** _ @sunnygamer _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson _ so how the heck did steve keep getting past you blocking him????
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @sunnygamer _ official story: shuri “hacked” FRIDAY and JARVIS
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @sunnygamer _ unofficial story: dad let him back in under the pretense shuri was hacking him in
> 
> **Summer** _ @sunnygamer _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson _ holy shit, did u know??
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @sunnygamer _ i assumed. dad did talk to me and i DID say i wanted to make up with steve, at least on some level, so he kind of took initiative. after it happened a few times, we talked about it
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @sunnygamer _ u remember the crying selfie?? lmao that was after we had a little shouting match about it but ik dad was only trying to help
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @sunnygamer _ and in the end, it was why i was ok with talking to steve in person so alls well that ends well ig
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _ @CaptainAmerica _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson @sunnygamer _ Wait, he let me back in?
> 
> **Tony Stark** _ @iamirondad _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson @sunnygamer @CaptainAmerica _ You can’t possibly think Shuri would hack into my AI’s without talking to me?
> 
> **Steve Rogers** _ @CaptainAmerica _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson @sunnygamer @iamirondad _ I honestly always forget how close you two are. 
> 
> **Tony Stark** _ @iamirondad _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson @sunnygamer @CaptainAmerica _ Oh, we’re not. She just loves Peter and tolerates me because of him.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @sunnygamer @CaptainAmerica @iamirondad _ >:D
> 
> **Shuri** _ @shuri _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson @sunnygamer @CaptainAmerica @iamirondad _ >:D
> 
> **Tony Stark** _ @iamirondad _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson @sunnygamer @CaptainAmerica @shuri _ God, help me.
> 
> |
> 
> **spidey's gf** _ @spyderbi _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson _ are you feeling better?? were you guys hurt at all? was it a big mission?
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @spyderbi _ im doing fine!! a few of the avengers got pretty banged up and visions like, uh, dead so wanda is rly upset. 
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @spyderbi _ and idk if it was so much a mission as just a frantic “holy shit we have to save the universe” scramble that we all just kinda,, fell into more so than sought out like other missions
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @spyderbi _ like thor came back bc apparently ragnarok was happening but he prevented that somehow idk, and then these wizard guys came and lowkey kidnapped dad to talk to them
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @spyderbi _ then grape man entered the atmosphere and strange was like “aight lets go” so then dad called steve and we were all just kind of scrambling to keep up but 
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @spyderbi _ we won! so 
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @spyderbi _ still not rly sure how we won exactly because like grape dude was crazy powerful with these stones but theres only so much some fancy space rocks can do when you get kicked in the face a bunch of times
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @spyderbi _ like, a bunch. my leg is still super bruised from how many time i full-power kicked him
> 
> **spidey’s gf** _ @spyderbi _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson _ jfc thats insane
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @spyderbi _ such is the life of an avenger! 
> 
> **spidey’s gf** _ @spyderbi _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson _ so who ended up taking out grape-man?
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @spyderbi _ his,,, adoptive daughter, ig? i dunno the story there really. i just call her blueberry bc her skin is blue, but her name is Nebula. she wielded the stones and totally wrecked him
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @spyderbi _ it was badass! i took a selfie with her to commemorate the moment!
> 
> [attached: a selfie of Peter and Nebula. The woman’s face was burnt and her internal wiring was exposed, but she looked peaceful. Peter, meanwhile, was covered in dirt and dried blood, hair slicked to his head with sweat, but was smiling like a maniac, hand around her shoulder with a peace sign flashing up at the camera.]
> 
> **spidey’s gf** _ @spyderbi _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson _ you look,,,,, um,,, how do i say this nicely,,
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @spyderbi _ i was a hot mess, its ok, u can say it. i just fought against an OP alien for four hours on an alien planet. i dont expect to look good
> 
> |
> 
> **Callie** _ @beardi _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson _ So why exactly did the Avengers go AWOL?
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @beardi _ well we did just like, save the universe. we were all kinda exhausted. the fight only lasted like, a day, but then dad, strange, and i were out on some foreign planet that was too far for a straight portal back
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @beardi _ so we had to planet hop our way back into the range of the earth. then it was a lot of clean-up effort in wakanda because their kingdom got a little trashed
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @beardi _ also lowkey just,, we were TIRED. social media was the last thing on our minds
> 
> **Callie** _ @beardi _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson _ U know what, totally fair.. I couldn’t do what you guys do.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _@iamspiderson_
> 
> _ @beardi _ i can barely do what we do sometimes haha. but it also comes down to a point where you have no choice and you gotta act.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @beardi _ my legs move. and then i wind up on a foreign planet
> 
> **Tony Stark** _ @iamirondad _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson @beardi _ I would like for it to be on record I didn’t allow this little shit to take a vacation on a different planet to fight the Big Bad Guy, he clung to the side of the spaceship and wormed his way in like the parasite he is.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @beardi @iamirondad _ RUDE. apologize to eddie and venom!
> 
> **Tony Stark** _ @iamirondad _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson @beardi _ We’re gonna talk about your choice of friends, kid.
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @beardi @iamirondad _ venom likes me
> 
> **Tony Stark** _ @iamirondad _
> 
> _ @iamspiderson @beardi _ Yeah, a little too much.

**Bunny** _ @BunnyJoy _

is anyone else super underwhelmed by peter and steve making up???

**1.4k** likes  **824** retweets

> |
> 
> **Lyric** _ @aintmola _
> 
> _ @BunnyJoy _ i mean, it’s entirely their prerogative how they revitalize their friendship. i dont think we should judge them for taking it offline
> 
> **Lyric** _ @aintmola _
> 
> _ @BunnyJoy _ like peter said, it was uncomfortably public for him. it was probably easier to speak face-to-face rather than deal with it over the internet where millions of people saw their tweets
> 
> **Bunny** _ @BunnyJoy _
> 
> _ @aintmola _ yeah yeah, i just wanted the drama
> 
> **Lyric** _ @aintmola _
> 
> _ @BunnyJoy _ you’re such a dick

**Steve Rogers** [verified]

_ @Team-Stark _

Kickin’ Nazi Ass Since 1918

Location: Brooklyn, NYC, NY

Joined: January 2013

**7** Following  **8.4M** followers

**Steve Rogers** _ @Team-Stark _

In the spirit of the day, I’ve changed my handle. To the family who has left a profound impact on my life, congratulations. Let the future only bring joy for you all.

**20.1M** likes  **19.8M** retweets

[attached: a single photograph. In the center of it all, Tony and Pepper stood, showing off their golden wedding rings. Peter was crouched in front of them in one of his usual Spidey poses, smiling so wide it looked like it ached. A woman with long brown hair stood to the side, and around the small family, the Avengers all stood, raising a glass in cheers to the happy couple. They were at what looked to be a cabin beside a lake, and in the corner, you could see the wedding arch at the end of a dock.]

> |
> 
> **Peter Stark** _ @iamspiderson _
> 
> _ @Team-Stark _ dad also gave me permission to let you all know… I’M GONNA BE A BIG BROTHER!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize to end this story so abruptly but i REALLY had no motivation at all to even finish it. i wanted to give you guys an ending, though, so that's where this chapter found life.
> 
> i truly, from the bottom of my heart, appreciate all the support you guys have given me, and this series, for over a year. i'm humbled you have enjoyed this silly story with all my ridiculous jokes for so long, and will never forget how happy it made me to watch this story grow with you all. thank you for every kudo, every comment. i go back and reread them all the time. i really will always treasure this series, and i hope it will continue to bring you all as much joy as it has brought me.
> 
> that being said, this is gonna be my last marvel fic for a good while. i'm not done writing fanficiton, but its going to be different fandoms!
> 
> thank you all again. i love you guys more than i can say.
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://aatticsaltt.tumblr.com/). I mean, if you want.


End file.
